I Believe In You and Me

My friends, 

Have you seen the Weight Watcher commercial with Jennifer Hudson before and after? :) The first time I saw it I was totally blown away. I honestly never thought much about J. Hudson before she lost the weight because now when I think about her, I think about how great she looks. But I realized once I saw this commercial she had a "before" too. She didn't always look the way she does. She had to work hard to get the body she has now. I think sometimes I forget that it just isn't a flip of a switch and I'll be bikini ready. It takes time, energy, and dedication. 

And let me tell you, I'm beginning to feel that in my bones. I feel more motivated than I have ever been and while results are slower, I'm still so excited. You know what I'm excited for? :D Let me just tell you, girlfriend:

1) The first time I see one of you girls after many months apart ( or anyone of our dear friends that I haven't seen in a while) and for someone to ask, "Have you lost weight?" I CAN'T WAIT TO SAY YES!!!!!!

2) Buying a bikini for the FIRST time in my life. (Not that I plan on wearing it because I think I'll still be very self conscious about my figure and the fact that my stomach has never seen the light of day!) I just want to have options and colors and sizes to choose from. I want to finally feel like a girl. I'm excited for that moment. 

3) Walking into a Kohls, JCPenny, Target, etc and KNOWING I can buy a piece of clothing. You would be surprised to know that those stores don't really carry a lot of XL or XXL. You wouldn't, really, if you're not that size but to the bigger girls, it's annoying to know your options are very limited in clothing. Maurices and Old Navy are really the only places I feel  I can get cute clothes my size. (Next time you're in a store, take a look. I think you'll be surprised at your findings.)

4) A difference in the way men treat me. ( I would go on a rant about this fact, but it would be so long. Just know that I think it's wrong to judge by appearance. It is so superficial but we ALL do it. I wish it wasn't that way. I DON'T want men to start noticing me just because I'm thinner than I was but I'm pretty sure that's about to happen and I just want to scream: I AM THE SAME PERSON SO WHY DIDN'T YOU LIKE ME BEFORE?!?!? I know what you're thinking right now. You don't sound happy about this. You sound mad. In a way, I am but in a sick selfish way, I am excited to potentially see a difference.

5) Last but not least, BEING HEALTHY FOR THE FIRST TIME. Having energy to be the best person I can be. That really is the most exciting part of this whole process. I want to around to see my future family. To see all of your beautiful faces. 

Thank you all, for loving me just the way I am and taking this journey with me. I feel you all often and miss you even more. 

**One last update: I weigh in tomorrow. I'm hoping to have lost 2 pounds, bringing my new total to almost 10 pounds in the past month! YEAHH! That's my goal. 10 pounds a month! Also - I currently am 18 pounds lighter than I was last year at this time! CHAAA-CHING!!!!

Hill