Sunday, November 20, 2011

Holy WOW.

Well HIIIIIIII my beautiful friends!

I cannot BELIEVE that it is NOVEMBER! Not only that, it's the end of Novemeber and I have NO idea where time has gone. Wowzers. It has been the biggest roller coaster of my life and you know what, I AM LOVING EVER MINUTE OF IT.

Coming to the yoooooper was scary/nerve-racking/thrilling/mind blowing. I jumped in head first and it's been one of the biggest challenges/biggest blessings of my life. I have to completely depend on my man G-O-D to get me through. I was nervous about being new, not having a core friend group/community, and wondering if I would even survive living on my own. But sure enough, God has truly and honestly used this time to grab my heart and remind me once more how PERFECT his timing is. I spent months on months blaming him. Wondering when it was "my turn". I felt betrayed and tired. I felt like I wasn't measuring up to the world around me. I hated the state I was in but had no clue how to escape it. It's funny how He works. He has shown me SO many times how he always provide (hellllooooo, Jamaica anyone?) and I still wonder if he knows what the heck he is doing.  [insert smack on the head here]

So if you're reading this saying "Well now she's got it all together." You're mistaken. I definitely do NOT have it all together. Yes, I have job. Yes, I have a house and car. I am so thankful for those things. But..... I still have long ways to go before I have it "together". Trust me.

1)I have a helluva lot of loans that are about to kick in. HELP. I have no idea where all of the funds will come from but I know that this is partly why God provided this job. For that I am thankful.

2) I don't have a lot of friends up here. I am longing for that community we had a Hope. I wish I could just pocket you all up and take you with me where ever I go. Living alone does have it's perks but there are days when all I want is to walk out of my bedroom and have someone greet me. I'm sad. I don't get enough hugs in my day and you know how crucial those are to me.

3) I still look at Facebook and think to myself "I'm not measuring up." Believe me when I say that finding a job doesn't complete you. Yes, it has been incredible but I still have the same problems I had before I had a job. Remember  to keep your head up, friends. Where ever you are, whatever you're doing. God isn't just sitting on the sidelines. He is actively directing your life. Whether you feel him or not. I promise His loving hand is on you. I challange us all to think about the ways that God is providing for us this holiday season. Even in the little things. Don't be discouraged. You are WORTH it.

4) My weight. I am currently taking ZUMBA and it has been SO awesome. I am sore and tired but I can feel myself getting stronger and actually wanting to work out. It's awesome. It also helps that I can't really eat out up here because everything is so far away. I'm making my own food and working out on a regular basis. Mind you, I'm still getting into a pattern here, trying to find creative ways to work out on the days I don't do zumba but it's a process. I'm getting there.

So lift your head to the heavens. We've all got burdens. It's one day at a time. I'm just thankful for the chance to live this crazy life with people like you.